Paper straws! What can go wrong?

So I was at the Greyhouse coffee place today for the first time, and I was actually impressed.  I had some iced Earl Gray tea, which was quite satisfying, and the look and decorations of the place were interesting as well.  But I encountered something new (to me at least), something that had a very evident purpose but a clear lack of forethought: paper straws.

This straw came wrapped in an extremely thin wrapper with an aardvark on the label.  The wrapper seemed to disintigrate in my hands, showing that it can be biodegradable even before it is thrown away. The straw itself seemed somewhat sturdy, being thicker than a plastic straw, but I had to wonder about how well it would work sitting in liquid for any length of time.  I figured that I should do my part to save the planet and give the straw a chance.  That was a mistake.

After struggling to get the straw into the thick plastic lid of my drink, I noticed that it almost immediately became softer upon contact with the tea. I ignored it, but within 2 minutes, I realized that the straw had become so wet that the lid area was cutting into the straw, making it impossible to remove without tearing the straw in half.  I still tried to use it for the next several minutes, but eventually I could hardly get enough suction as the flimsy cardboard-type straw did what most other wet, flimsy cardboard does: fail miserably.  After a grand total of 10 minutes of being kind to the planet, the straw was unusable and I forcibly removed it and went to go find another.  I figured I should get 3, since that is about how many I would need to finish the tea.

As I walked up to the counter and asked for a new straw, the man quickly handed me one.  As he was doing so, I was about to ask, "Is there any way I can pay extra to destroy the planet and have normal straw?" but he seemed to anticipate the question and said "it is a plastic one" with a smile.  Not surprisingly, the environmentally deadly plastic straw worked wonders, lasting for the remainder of my drink, with no visible degredation upon contact with liquid. 

The lesson from all this: don't expect unusual things to happen just because something saves the planet.  I could have told you in 3rd grade that paper gets soggy when wet.  I'm guessing even most environmentalists would concede this point.  But somehow the desire to do away with plastic straws overrode someone's better judgement and thus was born the paper straw.  I really can't say for sure whether they expected me to finish my drink within a minute, or whether they really believed that a paper straw would somehow react differently when used with liquid, but I can say this: one definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.